I've been seeing a lot of "year in review" posts floating around, and it inspired me to take a little pause and reflect back on the accomplishments and failures of the past year, not just for the sake of sharing and encouraging, but also for my own sake as I take the intention to look both behind and ahead.
This time of the year, post-holidays and right before a new year begins (I've been calling the week after Christmas and before the New Year a time warp black hole, where you hardly know what day it is and inadvertently find yourself waiting for it to be the new year already), I often find myself a little sad over the coming close of another year. There is something so poignant and bittersweet to me about the passage of time. Let me lend some perspective to this before I go on.
Over the years, time has become such a precious commodity to me. I view time very differently now, with the lens of past deployments, when my husband was gone a majority of the time, and the passage of time eked by and life in between felt like a haze. Now, I take each moment very intently. I don't always "full speed ahead" to the point of burnout because I force intentional time every day to just be. To unplug, reflect, be present, and savor a slower way of life. Sometimes this means my business grows more slowly, too. But that's ok with me, because I want to be sure I'm devouring the deep, nourishing marrow of every gift that is today.
For me, this year-ending sadness is not so much out of disappointment (although disappointment is present to a degree for the things that did not come to fruition this year), but more out of recognition of the passage of time, and the relevance that brings to so many aspects of our lives. To grow, we must experience pain. We must let go of things. And I always find myself in a season of mournfulness-tinged reflection as we leave the holidays behind and welcome in another year. Many take on the New Year with gusto at the wide open expanse of a fresh, clean slate. We set goals, intentions, resolutions, and embark with fervor to show the New Year who's boss. While it's so great to have this fresh new springboard to drive us onward, it's also relevant to reflect on what was.
I think part of this approaching new year melancholy stems from rarely giving myself credit for the things I have accomplished. I tend to hone in on the lack thereof, skimming over the achievements and heading straight toward mapping out how I can/could/should do better in the New Year. It's so easy and second nature for me to tell myself that the things I'm doing aren't good enough. I can look to where I want to be and thus diminish where I am and what I've done and endured to get here.
This year has been an ongoing lesson in recognizing and celebrating the accomplishments, no matter how big or small. I had this realization most clearly when someone said to me "I think it's so cool that you've done __________." The specific thing wasn't what made it so relevant, but it opened my eyes to give myself permission to recognize the validity in the things I have accomplished, no matter how big or small. In light of that, this year-end I'm forcing a pause and reprieve to wrangle up the good stuff.
Some highlights from 2017:
- I added an additional layer to my education with a Restorative Wellness Solutions practitioner certification
- I joined the Beautycounter movement for safer skincare as a consultant
- I put out more recipes than ever before
- I began to really recognize my business as a business and my time dedicated to it as a relevant, precious commodity (before it was easy for me to let any and everything else take over my time, thinking my business wasn't relevant enough)
- I started a podcast!! (Nutrition Unscripted)
- Perhaps most importantly, I got to know myself better and grew more deeply in who I am, which has included letting go of some destructive mindsets and negative self-talk, and stepping more intently into my purpose and my identity
Looking ahead into 2018, some of my broader goals include:
- no longer diminishing myself, my talents, and my dreams
- giving myself the permission to try new things and rekindle old passions
- no longer telling myself I'm not good enough and forfeiting the right to try, but allowing myself the space and grace to go after things
- punching comparison in the face
2018 is a big year, as I'll be turning 30 and entering a new decade of life. I'm working hard to not allow this milestone to discourage me, but rather to be a motivator to live more boldly and dare more greatly, to take risks and not be afraid to fail, and to enter more fully into my purpose.
Give yourself permission this year to step into your greatness. Make time to do the things you love, and love the time you have.
Wishing you a happy, healthy, empowering new year!
In loving health,
Ashley
